World Autism Awareness Day or, How I Love My Son

Would you indulge me for a  moment?  It’s World Autism Awareness Day, and though I am aware of the 1 in 88 children who now are diagnosed with autism….I’m more aware of the one who lives in my home, in my heart.  He is…my son.  and he has autism.  and he is nonverbal.  and he is loud.  and he is still not potty trained, but getting there.  and he is all jumping and running, or maybe laying around and leaning and pulling.  and he is up all night.  and he is always pulling his shoes off his feet.  oh, but when he smiles….and laughs and laughs and laughs…your heart melts.  He loves to be tickled and cuddled and rough-housed…and if I could still lift him, he’d love it.  He’s a big, big, boy.  I remember holding that big heavy baby that just belly laughed!  Oh I love his laugh!  He’s smart.  He can’t say it, but he can do anything on a computer!  He loves the little things like light shining through the leaves of the tree, or shining through our window.  Counting my fingers. or his fingers. or anyone’s fingers.  It never gets old.  He could do it over and over again.  The same thing with children’s songs. And even though it can be frustrating, it is also beautiful, and simple, because he is IN the moment.  There is no thought of the past or the future.  He only thinks of now,  and we could all learn from that.  It’s a long road ahead.  He’s only 7.  There are so many who have walked this road longer than me, and I could think about what we’ve been through, or all that we could go through in the many years to come, but I choose today to focus on today, with him, and his laugh, and the joy of being his mom.

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3 thoughts on “World Autism Awareness Day or, How I Love My Son

  1. Lovely post!

    I have a just-barely three year old son who has Autism. His joy is utterly infectious!
    Sometimes he laughs for no apparent reason. Sometimes I forget that he has Autism and then I see other children his age having actual conversations with one another…and I wonder, like you, what lies down the road.

    1. I remember exactly what it was like when my son was 3 and he was finally diagnosed with autism, and the grief that followed, even though he was the same little boy I had loved and enjoyed since he was born. The best advice I received was to live in today, do what you can today, and love all you can today….tomorrow will come and you will handle it as well, but you can’t handle both at the same time. I spent so much time in fear of tomorrow, or looking backwards to what I could have done, or should have done. Yet, there he was. Today, right in front of me, needing me to be there with him right in the moment, like he was and always is. Love your boy! He is a gift…a gift with a lot of work attached, but a gift nonetheless! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog!

      “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 NIV

      I also take great comfort in this verse:
      “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

      I won’t do everything right for my son. I am not perfect, but God gave him to me, and He will help me do what I need to do. I don’t know about you, but I need to be quieted, and know that I’m loved. If God does, then what else do I need?

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